Just in case you are wondering why a married man like myself is writing this, let me qualify by saying that this is not a letter for myself. I’m writing this on behalf of the single guys.
Dear Christian Girl,
I think I am attracted to you. I must confess that in the past and
even now, I’ve often liked girls because of their looks. But I’m trying
my hardest to change, because I know it is Godliness that counts. Proverbs 31 has taught me that. But in order for me to do that, I need to know you better; know what your hobbies are;
know what your likes and dislikes are; know your walk with Christ, because I know these are the
things that matter.However, I don’t know where to begin. While your Godliness attracts
me, sometimes it scares me. I always hesitate when i ask myself "Can I match up to your Godliness?" or "Am I Godly enough for you?" The reason why churches are so filled with girls is because girls
generally take God more seriously than us guys. Left to my own, I
prefer to be a back-bencher. I’m pretty laid-back you see, and it is
not my natural self to lead. Hence, sometimes when you go on about
Christ and when I see how zealous you are for Him, it intimidates me. It makes me wonder whether I should even
try to get to know you, because its a rather tall order to match up to
Proverbs 1-30. I have 30 chapters to aspire to become, you only have 1.I’m not asking you to be less Godly. In fact, like you, I too desire to be a Godly man. But it takes time. I’m
willing to try if you are willing to give me a chance. While I can’t do it on my own, God can change
me, and push me towards greater Godliness. In fact, sometimes he uses
people like you to do so.So do give me a chance. It is not my intention to lead you or anyone
on. I just want to get to know you better. I hope you would like to get
to know me better as well. If i ever muster up enough courage to ask you out
along with a few friends, would you just oblige me? After all, it is
not a marriage proposal.Yours sincerely,
Christian Guy
8 August 2005 at 11:28 pm
Does this represent the typical christian guy’s thots? No wonder the godly women are left waiting whilst the guys don’t dare do anything cos they’re ‘intimidated’? Sigh…
9 August 2005 at 12:06 am
That’s a theory derived from some conversations I had on the issue. Wonder what the rest think.
10 August 2005 at 10:45 pm
nice entry kaif. is this accurate depiction of the ARPC male mind?
but like island’s sentiment….*sigh*
it’s pretty hard for a woman to wait for something to happen… i don’t know what holds the guys back because i am telling ya, from the conversations i have had with girls….girls are all VERY OPEN to being asked out. they are also godly enough to know a date does not equal instant marriage.
so guys….just ASK. you have a good chance for success.
and please, for the love of God, put us gals out of the misery of waiting to be asked out.
12 August 2005 at 9:17 am
I think Mr Kaif is spot on. However, from experience, a few girls aren’t very good at saying yes to being asked out (or maybe that’s just me?) and even worse, some girls are really bad at saying no (if you know what I mean). But most girls are fine.
13 August 2005 at 1:42 pm
Hi, I’m referred here by my bro ins christ. I agree with what you say, sometimes I few inadequate as the sisters seem more Godly than me. Although I know we are all equal in His eyes, its does make me hesitate at times. Thanks for letting me know many other bros out there share the same feeling.
20 August 2005 at 12:41 am
Thanks kaif for sharing.
Didn’t realise guys could think this way.. there I was worrying whether looks were really what guys wanted, and why so many of my girl friends (whom I think are really tops) are still single.
Good to know that there are some out there who do value Godliness. (phew!)
Honestly, it can also discouraging for the girl to wait, without a clue on what guys really want.
But one thing we all do know is to PRAY and bring it to God, yah?
21 August 2005 at 2:32 am
finally got time to read this entry… my response:
Christian man, dun be scared. Ask urself, “What is meaning of godliness in first place?” we are all sinners. if men struggle with leading (as u put it) then pl know women struggle with submitting. we all struggle … n need understanding from the other. So, christian women may appear ‘intitimidating’, but perhaps that is jus the Devil trying to make the christian men intimidated. beneath the surface, we need each other’s strengths to help each other along…
so bottomline is – pray pray pray pray pray and go for it, christian man! do not despair!
- a marriechristianwoman
2 November 2005 at 3:34 pm
I came upon this post from another blog, I must say, “what the heck?”
“If i ever muster up enough courage to ask you out along with a few friends, would you just oblige me?”
if a guy wants to know a girl in a group setting, for God’s sake, just ask, in a casual way! and you’re right, “it is not a marriage proposal” so please have at least the courage to accept rejection. And, if you really like the girl, you can always ask the second time. why is it such a big deal to get to know another person? get to know another person doesn’t mean you have to marry that person!!!???
ohh man, if i ever get a letter like this, will totally freak me out. probably will not like someone like that.
guys that keep a girl waiting are not worth to wait for. (I don’t know, I’m just saying it now… haha…)
but in a girl’s stand point, HATE waiting.